Therapist strays into female patient’s “empathy” trap
Late at night, the knock on the door awakened me who had just fallen asleep. I could hardly believe my eyes. This man with a shaggy and shabby clothes outside the door turned out to be my college classmate and Cui Bainian who had been missing mysteriously for more than half a year.!!
Like me, Cui Bainian worked as a psychologist in this provincial capital by the Yangtze River. The counseling hotline he hosted was very popular, and his family was very happy.
Therefore, when he suddenly abandoned his career and his family disappeared, people were puzzled.
His image of the tramp at the moment surprised me even more.
“Can I stay with you for a few days?
Cui Bainian said straight away, “Old classmate, I have no choice but to go.
“We arrived and slept.
他长吁短叹地翻着身，在我的追问下，他犹豫了一阵，终于说出自己“失踪”的真相：来自远方的求助电话 2000年12月，我在心理咨询热线接听了一个来自成都的长途Calling for help, a young woman on the verge of collapse was called Wu Kechun.
I tried to soothe her as much as I could to calm her down.
Since then, she has called the hotline every day.
Sometimes she grumbled and cried, and sometimes hysterically broke the microphone.
After many conversations, I grasped her situation: she was an arrogant intellectual woman, and she was frustrated when she graduated from college to find a job. She became a “second mother” who was raised by a wealthy Taiwanese businessman on the mainland.
Feelings of humiliation and emptiness caused an abnormal mental condition and suffered from depression and mania.
I put a lot of energy into Wu Kechun, and after several months of treatment, her condition improved.
In March 2001, she went to visit relatives in Guangdong and said she would come to visit me by the way.
I went to her hotel to meet her.
She is beautiful and pretty, with big talking eyes.
In the conversation, she showed excellent understanding and feminine tenderness, and she was almost the same as the patient who had a hysterical attack on the phone a few months ago.
Looking closely at her, I judged that the change in this personality-dependent helper was a sign of “empathy.”
Few people know that there is also a danger in the psychological counseling industry, that is, “empathy” and “anti-empathy” that occur between patients and psychologists.
Just like a surgeon’s surgery to dissect a patient’s body, a psychiatrist performs mental treatment for a patient, and must trace the hidden knot deep in the patient’s subconscious mind, and this special treatment situation can easily cause the patient to have abnormal emotions and treat hisFeelings need to be transferred to the psychologist.
“Negative empathy” is manifested by the patient’s hatred and abuse of the doctor; “positive empathy” is the patient’s love of the doctor.
If the doctor accepts the patient’s love for himself, it constitutes the doctor’s “anti-transference”.
Cui Bainian’s magnetic voice, humorous language, and unrestrained free and easy manners have repeatedly made female patients “empathy”?
He has successfully solved this problem in the past.
I met with Wu Kechun this time, and he was facing the inevitable trouble of this psychologist. How would he deal with it?
“Empathetic love is not in accordance with ethics and doctors’ professional ethics and cannot be accepted under any circumstances,” I said, “psychologists must always be vigilant about their ‘anti-empathy’!
“I told Wu Kechun that I was just her psychiatrist. Any other ideas were unrealistic.
She said with tears: “I know I’m not worthy of you, you go, let me die, who told me so hard?
“No matter what I say, she just looks at me silently and affectionately.
I intend to calm her down for a while.
She stayed at the hotel and walked away every day holding a phone to me, and tried to find a showdown with my wife.
All my efforts at her were futile.
But I also know that it is very dangerous to leave her away at such a moment. Only remedial measures can be taken-to ask another doctor to treat her.
Remember, I called you and asked for your help?
I suddenly realized.
I certainly remember that one day in late March 2001, Cui Bainian called to introduce a patient to me.
When I went to his clinic by appointment, he disappeared somehow.Hearing this matter at this moment, I became interested in the “introduction” that time, and urged him to say it quickly.
Drinking dove quenches thirst to stop the love network. I went to Wu Kechun’s hotel room again, and saw her hair was messy, her clothes were not straightened, and she had become despicable for a few days.
When I euphemistically stated that I was going to introduce another psychologist for her, she stared at me in despair, drew a fruit knife under the pillow, and cut her wrist on the spot to commit suicide!
I hurriedly rushed her to the hospital for rescue and kept on guard.
Her mood is extremely unstable. In this case, if she consults a doctor, she will think that I hate her, and her extreme inferiority will be closed, and the continuous treatment effect will be destroyed once, resulting in worsening of the condition.
I hesitated for a few days, and cancelled my idea of asking for help . Now that Cui Bainian was silent.
As an old classmate, I could hear another reason why he could n’t say it in the bottom of his heart-in the unit he is a business authority; at home, he is an idol worshipped by his daughter, a respectable husband of his wife;The helper recovered his health under his treatment and was grateful for him.
Introducing “emotional” heterosexual patients to their peers often indicates that the counselor has lost confidence and ability to control the magnitude of the problem.
Cui Bainian, who has a tendency of personal heroism, is accustomed to being a “savior” and never wants to admit his failure and give up Wu Kechun.
A few days later, Wu Kechun returned to Chengdu.
I was always upset and worried about her accident.
Sure enough, on April 5th, her nanny suddenly called and said that she committed suicide by poisoning and was dying, and asked to see me for the last time!
The patient repeatedly committed suicide, an unsuccessful failure in my career.
I flew to Chengdu without telling everyone, and I plan to explain it to my wife after a happy ending.
Wu Kechun was rescued, but she became more dependent on me.
She was desperately weaving a tender love net, which made me deeper and deeper in the net, unable to move.
The night she returned from the hospital to the villa, she launched the most determined love offensive against me.
I can’t refuse, only to accept the love of this woman, hoping to complete the treatment beyond the power of love, making her suffer from depression.
The wealthy businessmen from Taiwan only visited the mainland for half a year. I overlapped with the lovingly built love nest, while loving Wu Kechun while treating her.
Wu Kechun loved me with a lot of mental and physical nervousness. I was not allowed to leave her sight for a moment. Only after she fell asleep could I miss my wife and daughter.
Psychologically, my wife and daughter are very far away from me, because I really face them without face, but I have to subconsciously distance them from them.
Gradually, due to intimate skin contact, I developed a true love for Wu Kechun and became more and more unable to break away from the deformed love network.
Wu Kechun constantly threatened with suicide, forcing me to give myself to her.
I drank her tenderness and entrusted the lawyer with a dark and distressed divorce procedure . Cinging here, Cui Bainian’s head was buried deeply and was silent again.
His wife, Li Xiuying, was also a doctor, two years lower than us in college; her daughter Xiaoye was in third grade.
Cui Bainian’s disappearance hit the mother and daughter very hard. Li Xiuying washed her face with tears all day long, and the innocent and lively leaflets also looked like frost.
The breakdown of this happy family makes everyone who knows them sad.
With the scissors tied to the rose, I asked Cui Bainian angrily: “Don’t you understand that the patient’s courtship with the psychiatrist is most likely to be touching?
Because you are trying to guide her to dig deep in the heart, she subconsciously uses ‘love’ to drag the doctor to the position of her lover, destroying the authority of the doctor and diverting her uneasiness!
Will this abnormal relationship make people happy?
“He is a doctor, and I should know without me reminding that the doctor’s satisfaction with the patient’s empathy is actually a substitute role. If she does not help the patient to be freed from depression, her disease will not be truly treated.
Why don’t I understand these reasons!
At that time, I was faint, thinking that I could control the patient by my own ability, but I did not expect-I divorced, determined to cure Wu Kechun’s illness, and set up a new family with her.
At first she seemed to be better, but then she was wrong-she became angry and happy, constantly blame and confessed, and showed a profound pathological reaction.
She was skeptical that I would dump her like an ex-wife in the future, so I figured out ways to deal with me. I was not allowed to leave the house half a step, I was not allowed to talk to any woman, and even replaced the female nanny at home with a male nanny.Monitor me.
Such love is suffocating.
I reopened the counseling hotline and tried to dilute the shadow of life with my career.
But Wu Kechun was worried that I would collude with other female patients and obstruct them so that I could not work normally.
After several failures, I lost my confidence in consulting the patient, my mood was depressed, and my heart was very upset. Day by day she became unreasonable, treated me rudely, and kept arguing about things that didn’t matter.
One day I did n’t “instruct” her to buy a pack of cigarettes from the street. She actually asked the bodyguard to beat me!
I finally realized that I fell into the trap of “empathy” of the opposite sex patient, and it was really wrong.
Looking back on the warmth of the family, I really can’t regret it.
Unbearable, I managed to escape from the villa while she was in the beauty salon.
But I had no money, and all the money was searched by her.
I have no relatives in Chengdu, I do n’t have a door to borrow money, and I only go to work to earn home expenses.
Hey, look at my psychiatrist, I have nothing to do when I work, I can only wash the dishes for the roadside shop, and do some miscellaneous work at the construction site .
I handed him a cup of hot tea, and he took a few sips and calmed his excitement before continuing to tell.
Back here after all the hard work, I wandered outside the house for a few days, I didn’t have the courage to see my wife, daughter, and didn’t want to come to you and other friends.
September 16 is Xiaoye ‘s birthday. I asked my relatives to borrow some money, bought a birthday cake, and dared to ring the doorbell.
When Xiuying opened the door and saw me, she was stunned-look at my ragged clothes, and look at my downcast looks. Where is she like her former husband?
I talked to her without a face, shoved the cake into my daughter’s hands, and said, “Happy birthday to you.
Xiaoye was holding the cake in a bun, and suddenly cried, “I don’t want cake!”
I want dad, mom doesn’t divorce!
“She dropped the box on the ground, rushed into her bedroom and wept loudly, crying like a knife in my heart, so uncomfortable!
Xiuying cleans up the cake on the ground.
She saw the cream picture on the cake, which was specially designed by scissors with red roses.
Xiu Ying muttered the meaning of the portrait: “Cut continuously, reason is still chaotic .” She pointed out that it is my voice-at this moment, the thoughts and guilt of my loved ones are constantly being cut in my heart,Chaos . Cui Bainian strayed into the “empathy trap”, causing such serious consequences, and it was also a loud alarm for me.
Facing his regrets, I secretly reminded myself: as a psychologist, you must resist the consultant’s “empathy” with good personality and noble professional ethics, and you must not allow “anti-empathy” to cherish everything we cherishDestroyed once!